Startling Discovery

"I can't do it all."

So what is so surprising about that? I know as well as anyone that I can't do everything.

But I don't live like I believe it.

I end every day in frustration on how many things are still undone. Never do I accomplish everything that I thought was possible in the morning.

I finally came to realize that I can only do one or two, maybe on a good day, three things in a day.

If I have a big project like applesauce, it is really hard to squeeze school in also.

If I have a great day of school, supper will probably be simple. (So thankful that Ed loves toasted cheese, bacon and tomato sandwiches!)

Maybe we get homeschooling and baking done - but the house will probably be a disaster.

Or if the house is clean, my children would have dealt with a mother completely lacking the "meek and quiet spirit" and more on the line of a drill sargent.

On the rare day that we seem to accomplish a lot, maybe the children were super helpful, before I can put on my super woman cape, I find laundry forgotten in the washing machine, or a phone call, that I had to make today, that completely slipped my mind.

And I am beating myself up again over how much I let undone.

I don't really truly believe that "I can't do it all". I keep thinking that after canning is over, and I finish some sewing projects, then, life will slow down and I'll have time for everything.

Or maybe I search for one more tip on time efficiency,  one more home organization gizmo, that will magically give me time to do everything.

It is a lie. I already have far too many interests, projects, and plain old work for several lifetimes.

I can't do it all. 

Last week found me battling back pain that put me on the couch. But, of course, I wouldn't stop. I hobbled through the day, and drove us all crazy.

Attempting super woman status isn't good for my health. I was far closer to total burn-out than I ever what to be ever again. Couldn't I take a hint from God that it is time to slow down and not try to do it all?

I'm not sure how to break a mindset where success is found in accomplishment. Not sure how to order my days to deliberately accomplish the most important, and blow off the chaff. Not at all sure where blogging fits in the equation.

I've been reading through some of the Christ's healings in the Gospels. I have faith to believe that an overwrought mom can be a recipient of the Master's healing touch. Not just from back pain (which is much improved) but in wrong thinking.

Maybe the first thing I need to do is dig out my neglected gratitude journal and start looking for blessings.

Because God IS good. I have just been too distracted to notice.